Dream big, but embrace the small things

Posted: 12:01am on Dec 17, 2011

Dear Emily,

How can I make my outlook on life more positive?

Dear Lost,

Don’t worry about things that you don’t have, just be thankful for what you do have.

There are so many things that we want and wish for, but in reality they are just not in our hands. You are lucky to be on this earth and breathing while your read this. The little things are what matter most at times, and we take that for granted. There is not a thing wrong with dreaming big — dreaming big gets you far at times — but embracing the small, simple things also can get you places.

Dear Emily,

My parents are divorced and apparently happier now. It’s hard splitting time with both my parents, because my mom puts a guilt trip on me when I go with my dad. I am really starting to like my stepmom, and starting to understand why my dad no longer wanted to be with my mom. My mom seems very jealous of my relationship with my stepmom, and it’s affecting our relationship. Being around my mom is hard now, and it’s hard talking about it with her because she is stubborn. Help, what do I do?

Dear Confused,

You are lucky to have a family that cares about you on both sides. Be thankful for that, your mom becoming jealous is not uncommon. It is likely a very difficult thing for her to see, because it’s less time with her and more time with someone she possibly envies. Though your mom may be stubborn, the best way to solve things is to talk to her directly. Openly talk to your mom about it. Since she is the stubborn type, maybe casually bringing it up like on the way home from a errand or a day that isn’t tense, and just let her know how you feel. Keeping in how you feel will not help you and possibly will tear you and your mom apart even more. Freely talking with her could help both of you in the long run. No matter what she will love you.

Dear Emily,

I don’t have a mother figure to go to for talking about menstruation and girl problems such as things with my body, as well as drama and stress of school and boys. What should I do?

Dear Growing Up,

There are many ways that you can let out what you’re wondering and thinking. Something that I think would be helpful is reading. Google can be helpful at times, but sometimes the source isn’t very reliable. You can go to your local library, or bookstore and find books on menstruation and feminine hygiene things.

You are not alone. All girls at one point or another go through menstruation, and have to deal with the backaches, cramps, chocolate cravings, mood

changes and even more. It’s a normal thing that is going on, so don’t be afraid of what’s occurring with your body.

Another thing you could do is ask one of your friends, nurses from school, health teachers, gym teacher, or someone you look up to, and who you are comfortable asking for advice. As for girl problems, if that refers to the stress and dramas of being a girl, whether it be from talking to a boy you like or that time of month, find someone you’re comfortable with. Sometimes letting go of your feelings and talking to someone can help.

If you don’t really have someone you’re comfortable with and can trust, try writing in a diary. It may seem silly, but I know I still have a diary that I write in whenever I’m upset and just need to let my steam blow. A diary will always be there no matter what.

Emily Chertow is a high school student in central Pennsylvania who writes a monthly column offering advice from the point of view of a teenager. You can send questions to her at askemilynow@hotmail.com or mail them to Ask Emily, c/o Centre Daily Times, 3400 E. College Ave., State College, PA 16801.