Stand ground when dealing with a cheater

Posted: 12:01am on Jan 21, 2012

Dear Emily,

My boyfriend cheated on me and I think I was in love with him. I don’t know what to do with myself. Should I take him back if he tries?

Dear Heartbroken,

I, unfortunately, have been in the same boat as you are in and there are no words to describe how I felt throughout the whole situation. I understand your feelings. The feeling you have is awful in the pit of your stomach because the person you care about hurt you. You feel furious but most of all hurt and upset.

There isn’t much better advice to give to you than the advice I’m about to give to you right now: Do not take him back. You deserve better than that. Not only do you deserve better but you can have better. Boys (or girls) who do that are not worth your valuable time. There are many fish in the sea and I’m letting you know that there are many fish for you. What hurts you only makes you stronger. You are worth more then to be treated like that — always remember that.

Dear Emily,

I like this girl but she has a boyfriend. How can I try to get over her? I heard her and her boyfriend are having problems and this one guy in my class texts her a lot and is trying to get them to break up. What do I do?

Dear Someone's Future Boyfriend,

The worst thing that you could possibly do is get mixed up in breaking up a relationship, especially one that is having problems. Morally, the right thing to do when someone has a boyfriend, or is in a relationship, is keep your hands off.

Yes, the situation you are in is a huge stink, but there isn’t much you can do, except move on. Try not to do things that will make you continue to crush on her, like going to her Facebook profile, or walking in the hallway that you know she will be in. Those kind of things will only make things harder on yourself.

You just need to accept in your head that this is not the right time for you to be with her. Maybe your paths will cross again when she is single. You never know what the future may hold. As for the friend texting the girl, let him know he shouldn’t be doing that, and that she has a boyfriend. Even though this girl you like might not be available, there are many other quality girls that are out there. Keep your options open and keep an open mind for another girl that could come into your life at any point of time.

Emily Chertow is a high school student in central Pennsylvania who writes a monthly column offering advice from the point of view of a teenager. You can send questions to her at or mail them to Ask Emily, c/o Centre Daily Times, 3400 E. College Ave., State College, PA 16801.