Find comfort with yourself first

Posted: 12:01am on March 17, 2012

Dear Emily,

I am gay, but I’m not comfortable with it yet, I want to come out to my parents but I don’t know how. What should I do?

Dear Confused,

Well first off, the most important thing is being comfortable with yourself. That’s the first thing you need to do before you come out to anyone. It’s key. It will bring you comfort and confidence when you tell your parents. Realize that you aren’t the only gay person out there, and that it’s normal to feel the way you are feeling. You are just like anyone else in this world. Even though some people don’t accept it, you are a normal human being, and it’s natural to feel what you feel. Once you are comfortable with telling yourself and ready to tell your parents, prepare yourself. You never know how they are going to respond or what they are going to say. So prepare yourself, and if their response is negative, do not let what they say bother you. On the other hand, they could be completely okay with it as well, but stay true to you. When coming out nerves are normal so don’t let those effect you and what you say. Only do what makes you comfortable.

Dear Emily,

I like my brother’s best friend. He is two years older then me. I actually think I’m in love though. Should I tell him I like him or not?

Dear Younger Sibling,

That is a sticky situation, and many people have been in your spot. Some of the time it ends up wonderful for the sister that likes the friend and other times it ends up in embarrassment. Before you decide anything, think about what could happen if you told your brother’s friend you like him. Here are a few possibilities if you do decide to tell him you like him: He could already like you, he could think about it and end up liking you, he could just let you know that he doesn’t see you that way, things could be normal, or things could get extremely awkward. Endless possibilities, but it really depends on what you feel and what you could see coming out of it. It also depends on the relationship you have with your brother and his friend. It may be a good idea to run it past your brother and ask him what he thinks, but there it just depends on your relationship with your brother. Weigh your options, and go with what you think is best for you.

Dear Emily,

I have been performing since I was four, and I am in a great dance group and it’s really fun. The problem is, we’re performing at my school for my entire grade, and there are four girls in my class who gave me these glares when I sang my solo in a choir performance a while ago. I didn’t like it, obviously. I’m worried that I’ll get the same backlash that I did last time. Please help me!

Dear Embarrassed Performer

Truth is, they envy you. There aren’t many girls that can go up on a stage and perform in front of their class. Obviously you have the confidence to perform, so don’t let four rude girls kill your confidence. Don’t worry about what can happen such as having a flashback, just concentrate on your dance. Four envious girls shouldn’t effect the wonderful dance that you are going to perform. This time you’ll have a group so that most likely will make it even easier, think of it that way. I am sure you will do good, just don’t let it get under your skin, because once it does you’ll start over-thinking everything and nerves will kick in. When you’re nervous, it’s even more possible that you mess up. Don’t care what they think, just dance. Enjoy the minutes you have on that stage and don’t let anything or anyone come between that.

Emily Chertow is a high school student in central Pennsylvania who writes a monthly column offering advice from the point of view of a teenager. You can send questions to her at or mail them to Ask Emily, c/o Centre Daily Times, 3400 E. College Ave., State College, PA 16801.